Jen Schwanke, Ed.D., has been an educator for almost three decades, teaching or leading at all levels. She is the author of four books published by ASCD, including the recently-released The Principal’s Guide to Conflict Management, and has published hundreds of articles in various education publications. In addition to providing professional development to districts in the areas of school climate, personnel, and instructional leadership, Schwanke presents at conferences for ASCD, NAESP, NASSP, AASA, and various state and local education organizations. She is the co-host of the popular “Principal Matters” podcast and an instructor in educational administration at The Ohio State University and Miami University of Ohio. Dr. Schwanke currently serves as a Deputy Superintendent in Ohio.
When I left teaching and moved into an administrative role, I was dismayed by how much of my time was spent managing other people’s conflicts. Even the thought of it filled me with dread. I wasn’t alone; indeed, some administrators spend their entire careers holding a low-grade apprehension conflict. They even measure their success by how much of it comes their way, thinking that conflict means they’re a failure and thus seeking to eliminate it.
This is misguided, of course. In a school environment, which is, by design, fully made up of human beings, conflict is as inevitable as the sun rising. Administrators are trained in how to handle conflict with students, and we know that young people, who are still learning about the world, get fussy with one another. They argue, fight, and have fractures in their friendships. But many of us aren’t nearly as well trained in managing adult conflict.
And there is plenty of it to go around. Teachers might engage in conflict because they are tired and overwhelmed. They have philosophical and stylistic differences that can manifest into gossip and cliques. Parents, too, are often part of adult conflict. Parents fall on a massive spectrum of over-involved to disengaged, but each one brings a unique perspective, interpretation, and response to relationships with their child’s teacher, coach, or support staff— and even on another.
When conflict happens, many times, everyone looks to the principal to solve it. But the principal might be absorbing the conflict, feeling lost and uncertain and thinking, “Wait. I didn’t cause this, I didn’t create it, and now I’m supposed to fix it? How?!”
When I wrote a book about how principals can better manage conflict, I had no idea how much it would resonate with readers. Although I had struggled with my own response to conflict management, I didn’t expect to hear so much anxiety, pressure, and stress from others. Since the book’s publication, I have led many workshops with teachers, principals, and district staff, all centered around the question: How can I improve my approach to managing conflict?
I believe conflict management should follow a three-step process. We should work to anticipate what conflicts are festering; analyze if it is a problem and consider outcomes; and act to mediate, resolve, manage, or oversee the conflict. The steps can be sequential, but we can also “enter” the cycle at any place and time. If a conflict requires immediate action, for example, you can act to resolve it— and then take a step back, anticipate the reaction to your action, and further analyze the antecedents to avoid repeating the conflict again. It is a circular and continuous process that constantly feeds itself.
Anticipate. In this proactive exercise, you might consider what situations occur in your school that lead to regular A lack of standardized systems, processes, and protocols may open up frequent conflicts, so you might identify that improved communication and normed responses to events would be helpful. You might also identify teams or departments who naturally manage conflict well and consider how other groups might emulate their approach.
As you anticipate conflict, you might look at students having unstructured areas of time or space; teachers festering about imbalance of workload; or parents frustrated by a lack of communication. Take a look at trend data for patterns that will help create a clear picture of where conflict is likely to arise.
Analyze. In this step, you will study an existing conflict to understand its antecedents and effects. Doing this well takes discipline, because it’s easy to assume we have a full picture of a situation, credible witnesses, or an accurate summary, but there still might be pieces missing. It helps to delineate facts from feelings and look for areas of overlap. I remember one situation in which I was working with a teacher who was in an ongoing argument with a colleague. “He always yells at me,” she says. “He never says anything ” These weren’t facts; they were feelings. Yet the truth in them was still there; the teacher was using always and never to capture how she felt, and it was mobilizing into facts.
Analyzing a conflict benefits from having additional eyes and perspectives. It’s hard to fully understand something if you’re working alone, because your own mindset might shift according to your own set of beliefs or assumptions. Asking for the perspectives of others who are involved will help you get a more complete picture of the problem— and how you should act upon it. You will ask yourself questions. Is this conflict just someone tattling? Do they need help? What will happen if I wait? Does someone need empowerment or support in order to handle this conflict without me? In this step, it can be helpful to distinguish between conflict and disagreement, conflict and confrontation, and conflict and competition.
Act. With a full understanding of the conflict, the path forward should become a bit more The first step is identifying what needs to be done. In some cases, the answer is— well, nothing. Some conflicts are actually simple disagreements and they benefit from time. Think about a parent who is annoyed about a test grade and shoots off a nasty email to the teacher, who comes to you tearfully hoping you’ll reply and stick up for her. Instead, you might counsel the teacher to wait 24 hours to respond, and coach her through a way to reply— but you, as the principal, actually do nothing. No action is an action.
Yet, in other cases, you might need to act. I like to delineate between actions. If there is conflict, I might think about whether I need to manage, mediate, facilitate, or ignore. Answering that question helps you set up an environment of intentionality. You will know why you are proceeding in a certain way; you will know who needs to be part of the action; and you will be able to begin with your hoped-for outcome in mind. This intentionality will build confidence as you have difficult conversations.
As using this cycle becomes automatic, here’s something that can’t be understated. Conflict is normal. People need to be able to disagree. They need to know— or learn— healthy ways to respond when they don’t feel heard, valued, respected, or understood. School communities cannot do good work unless they accept and even embrace the inevitable conflict. It can be— and, ideally, is— positive and productive, and it can be the foundation for respect and professionalism throughout your school. In that sense, conflict should be welcomed and embraced as evidence of a strong and healthy culture.